When you see a stylish women you immediately know it. She may not be the thinnest, the youngest, or even the most beautiful gal in the room, but she’s the one–you can tell–that feels absolutely amazing in what she’s wearing.

How’d she do that? Is there some school she went to to learn how to dress fashionably? Did her mom teach her? Did she imitate a Vogue model?

Well, maybe she learned something from her mom (I like to give moms a little credit), but more than likely she learned her quintessential style from her full length mirror. And if you’ve got a full length mirror, you can learn, too.

Yes, ladies, it must be a FULL length mirror.

“What? My mirror,” you say. “All I see when I look in the mirror is a double chin, flabby thighs, and a bulging tummy. I avoid looking at all costs,”–you say.

“That is why you fail” (to quote the wise Yoda). Because the most important ingredient in personal style is knowing yourself–and that begins with your silhouette–flaws and all. The second most important ingredient is self-acceptance. And the third is self-appreciation.

Style begins and ends with: knowing, accepting, and appreciating oneself.

Of course, when you look in the mirror there is always a choice: a choice to focus on the negative or a choice to focus on the positive. Which do you choose?

I’m betting the stylish Rose (above) says: “I’m 98 years-old. I’m gray. I need a cane to walk. Okay, that’s me. I can cry or I can deal with it. I choose to dress for my age, my body type (NOW), and my authentic self. I’m 98, but I still have something to give–or I wouldn’t be here.”

What a woman, that Rose!

You, like Rose, are the architect of your own style. You create the look you desire.

You are the architect of your own style.

The most stylish women I know all have one thing in common: they know themselves. They know: what colors flatter, what styles fit their body like a glove. They recognize which fashions say: “this is me” and which ones do not.

They dress for the body they have TODAY and they dress to represent the finest version of themselves, for the lifestyle they are living NOW. They are fueled by inspiration, not imitation.

Once a woman knows what works, there is no stopping her from becoming her own  fashion maven.

Style isn’t about how old you are or what size you wear. Style is about discovery and choice. Discovering and choosing what is absolutely perfect for you.

If you need help discovering your style, click here to read an excerpt from our book: QUINTESSENTIAL STYLE: Cultivate and Communicate Your Signature Look.