Last week I had a healthy slice of ‘humble pie,’ after I commented on fellow blogger Pam Lutrell’s website. I made a suggestion, which seemed ‘totally right’ to me, based on everything I know from Quintessential Style.
The problem was, I didn’t take the most important element of style into consideration: Pam’s Personal Preferences.
When Pam asked, “Would You Wear It?”, I said (of the outfit pictured below) that based on my coloring I would not, but that I thought it would look stunning on her. The garment seemed a complementary color and an appropriate print size. It was, in my opinion, something Pam could wear based on her Color Type.
Pam wrote back saying she would probably never wear the bold floral, because she felt it might ‘age’ her. I agree, Pam, no one wants to wear something that is aging.
What’s up with me? Haven’t I read the first page in QUINTESSENTIAL STYLE: Cultivate and Communicate Your Signature Look? I’m the one who transcribed the words that Janna has hammered into my head a hundred times:
“Signature style comes not by mimicking some iconic image, not by fitting into some specific size, not by wearing what is currently en vogue. Personal style is just that–personal. What you have to be is yourself.
It’s not about styling an outfit; it’s about styling who you are.”
I could never have fully known Pam’s preferences, because I am not Pam.
Our personalities, our comfort zones, even past childhood experiences can all have bearing on our personal style.
I have heard a lot of comments from women:
- “I never tuck in my shirt.”
- “I can’t wear yellow.”
- “I don’t wear stripes.”
- “I won’t wear a belt over my blouse.”
- “I prefer not to wear plaid.”
Now, I understand. It may be the perfect color, cut, or pattern, but if it’s not YOU, you’re never going to feel good wearing it.
Pride goeth Before a Fall…even in fashion.
I hope Pam will forgive me for acting like a ‘know it all.’
So let this be a cautionary tale: We might think we know what will look good on someone else, but there are always those individual proclivities that are so intimate, we can only know them if we’re in their skin.
Coincidentally, that very same day, the inspirational calendar I keep by my kitchen sink had this to say:
Thank goodness for that!
Check out Pam Lutrell’s amazing website at Over 50, Feeling 40.
8 Comments
Oh Sharon…you are being way too hard on yourself. This post is so kind but not necessary! What you said was in kindness and I know that. I look for pieces which communicate messages I want to send about me so the messaging is very personal. Some women saw that jacket as youthful especially when worn with denim. I saw it on me as aging. We all see some of these pieces differently and that is why I love Would You Wear It…which I do on Saturdays!! Please continue to join in and your sweet apology means a lot!!
Pam,
You taught me a humbling lesson that I will not forget. That’s what a great blog does…it makes you think. And yours sure made me think!
What an inspiration you are.
Your transparency is refreshing!
When it comes to style I often think if you think you look good, that will reflect In a positive demeanor. Any doubt and you will look uncomfortable. Your book is extremely helpful in finding personal style. I highly recommend it!
Thank you, Jill. I agree. When we dress for ‘who we are today’ the positive energy shines right through.
Thanks for helping me off the hook.
Great blog, Sharon! And very important to remember! Many things I wear (and don’t) are the result of the life I’ve lived, and no one can get inside me to completely figure me out except God!! So you have taught me a lesson here about my sometimes judgemental thoughts – hold back before voicing them. You might find out something by listening to another person that will completely change your thoughts. Thank you!
Loved the quote, too!!
Well said, Diane.
What we wear can be a complete reflection of the lives we have lived. ‘Our beauty lies in our diversity.’ (Another quote from the first page of the book.)
Thanks for writing.
Everyone who has ever met you, or who has just read your blog even once, knows how thoughtful and gracious you are. I agree with Pam; you are too hard on yourself. You always stress the beauty and uniqueness of each individual. Thank you for doing that. So grateful and blessed that you are my friend!
Sharon B.,
I recently told a friend that two bold necklaces looked absolutely stunning on her when worn together. Her response, “Well, I like them both, but I’m not sure I’d wear them together… that’s just not me.
Haha. I have learned my lesson.