I was honored to receive emails from many of you wondering why I had not been posting my usual weekly blog. In honesty, I only wanted to send something out that might be helpful or pertinent to our current situation. Then I read an article by friend Patty Benoit, in her recent “Backroads” column, reminding us “..when the times are tough, the tough find humor.”
I wish I knew where these hilarious bits came from. A friend sent them to me and I wanted to share:
- Half of us are going to come out of this quarantine as amazing cooks. The other half will come out with a drinking problem.
- I used to spin that toilet paper like I was on “Wheel of Fortune.” Now I turn it like I’m cracking a safe.
- I need to practice social distancing from the refrigerator.
- Still haven’t decided where to go for Easter —– the Living Room or the Bedroom
- PSA: Every few days try your jeans on just to make sure they fit. Pajamas will have you believe all is well in the kingdom.
- Home-schooling is going well. Two students suspended for fighting and one teacher fired for drinking on the job.
- I don’t think anyone expected that when we changed the clocks we’d go from Standard Time to the Twilight Zone
- This morning I saw a neighbor talking to her cat. It was obvious she thought her cat understood her. I came into my house, told my dog….. we laughed a lot.
- So, after this quarantine…..will the producers of My 600 Pound Life just find me or do I find them?
- Quarantine Day 5: Went to this restaurant called THE KITCHEN. You have to gather all the ingredients and make your own meal. I have no clue how this place is still in business.
- (My favorite) My body has absorbed so much soap and disinfectant lately that when I pee it cleans the toilet.
- Day 5 of Homeschooling: One of these little monsters called in a bomb threat.
- I’m so excited — it’s time to take out the garbage. What should I wear?
- I hope the weather is good tomorrow for my trip to ‘’Puerto Backyarda’’. I’m getting tired of ‘’Los Livingroom’’.
- Classified Ad: “Single man with toilet paper seeks woman with hand sanitizer for good clean fun.”
- Day 6 of Homeschooling: My child just said “I hope I don’t have the same teacher next year”…. I’m offended.
- Better 6 feet apart than 6 feet under….
If anyone knows the origin of these gems, please let me know.
And some of the most brilliant words I’ve heard recently came from Hoda Kotb at the “Today”
“After all this is over, there is really only one thing we will remember … how we treated one another.”
Please comment below and share your most enlightened or inspiring moments, or humorous anecdotes. We LOVE hearing from you while you are home and staying safe.